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music: lighthouse keeper - get cape wear cape fly.

this is my attempt to follow my own advice and possibly learn a bit about myself by writing down statements that describe me that i usually take advantage of and don't notice. i hate being told what to do, and holding back from doing something i want to do. every time the phone rings, i run for it. never walk - always run, as though the world will explode if it isn't answered. i keep finding a band and obsessing over one song from them, viewing my own vf after i've added the song to it. i'll listen to it over and over again until each lyric is drilled into my brain. sometimes i'll sit in front of the mirror for up to ten minutes, not doing anything. i'll just stare back at myself and wonder about what other people think of me. i like to pick at scabs to stop them from healing. ripping skin off myself seems normal to me now. before i go to sleep, i'll have a song on repeating itself over and over in my head, and i won't be able to stop thinking about what i means. i'll only get a couple hours of sleep, then complain and groan about it in the morning to my friends. i hate it when people look at me. i hate the insecure feeling of someone analyzing and defining me and my flaws in their mind without me knowing what exactly it is. i get jealous easily and hate it when people hog things. i hate it when they are sarcastic and treat me as if i'm slow and stupid, even if it's a joke. i collect things like bottle caps and can hooks because they're sharp and shiny. i hate how i can easily type so much about myself but if you asked me how many children die in africa every year due to starvation, i wouldn't know. but i'd guess it'd be around a gazillion.

<3
get out of this place.